Why It Took a Lockdown for Me to Finally Shave My Head

I was in denial about going bald for longer than I'd like to admit. Not about the hair loss itself, that was obvious enough in the mirror, but about doing anything about it. I told myself I had time, that it wasn't that noticeable yet, that I'd sort it eventually. Eventually kept not arriving.

What actually got me there wasn't confidence. It was lockdown.

Nobody was watching

With no office to go into and no one popping round, there was no one to see me mid-transition. No colleague catching me on a bad hair day, no friend doing a double take, no single moment where I had to walk into a room and let everyone clock the change at once. I could just do it, badly at first, in my own bathroom, with nobody watching. By the time I saw people again, it wasn't news. I was just someone who was bald now. There was no reveal to be nervous about, because nobody had been there for the in-between.

I think if I'd been in normal, constant contact with friends and colleagues at the time, I'd have kept putting it off. Not because I lacked the confidence in private, but because I couldn't face the idea of everyone watching me arrive at it.

That's the bit that's rarely said out loud

The fear isn't really about being bald. Plenty of people are bald and it's a complete non-issue to everyone around them. The fear is about the moment of being seen changing, the transition itself, in front of people whose opinion matters to you. Take that moment away, the way lockdown accidentally took it away for me, and a lot of the fear goes with it.

That tracks with what the research says too. People with hair loss commonly delay for months or years, hiding it with styling or hats, right up until something removes the audience or forces the decision. Around 40% report real emotional strain from hair loss, and UK research into relationships found people hiding it from partners for months at a time, sometimes being told outright they looked better covered up. None of that is really about the hair. It's about who's watching, and when.

It wasn't simple relief, either

I won't pretend it was uncomplicated once I'd done it. There was real relief, but there was a touch of grief in there too, something about that version of myself with a full head of hair that I hadn't quite said goodbye to. Both of those were true at the same time, and I don't think that's unusual.

You're not as alone in this as it feels

Ageing and baldness get treated harshly across most of the internet, which is exactly why a corner like r/bald exists, a community with over 360,000 members built specifically to be a positive space for people thinking about, or living with, hair loss. If you're looking for people who've actually been where you are, that's a better starting point than a stranger's opinion in a comments section.

For anyone whose hair loss was never a choice in the first place, Alopecia UK runs peer support groups built for exactly this.

Where Smelly Men actually fits

Sports Day Shave Serum didn't exist when I finally shaved. It wouldn't have made the decision easier, and it's not built to. What it's there for is the skin, once you've made whatever call you've made, in whatever timeframe was right for you.